


Emotions

by mamacita83701



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Love, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 00:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4327041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamacita83701/pseuds/mamacita83701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know your husband is cheating on you, but you can't seem to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic ever, so I hope everyone enjoys this. This is inspired by the song "Emotion" by Destiny's Child. This song can be interpreted in a few different ways, and this is the way I took it.

You roll over and feel the other side of the bed.  It's empty and cold, letting you know your husband hasn't been home.  Cracking your eyes open, you peer at the clock on Bucky's nightstand, the red LED display letting you know it is 1:23A.M.  Rolling back to your side of the bed carefully, minding your six months pregnant belly, you grab your phone.  Pressing the power button and seeing that you have a text from Bucky, you unlock the phone and read the message:

_**Sorry babe, work ran late. Went to bar with Steve. Be home** _ **soon.**

"Liar!" you hiss, your voice breaking through the quiet darkness of the room.  Seething, you tap out your reply and hit send.

 

*******

 

"God baby, that was fucking amazing!" The blonde exclaims, as Bucky pulls out of her and heads towards the bathroom on the side of the room.  He closes the door, pulls off the condom and knots it, then throws it in the trash.  Turning to the sink, he turns on the water and washes his hands.  While the water is still running, he splashes water on his face and takes a few deep breathes.  Finally, he turns off the water and dries his hands and face.  Bucky throws the paper towel in the trash and turns to leave, but catches his reflection in the mirror. 

"Fuck," he whispers to himself, "I can't keep doing this to her."  Bucky loves you, but he can't stop giving into the temptation that is easily obtained.

Bucky turns on his heel, and heads back into the bedroom.  The blonde eyes his movements as she lights a cigarette.  As he beds downs and puts on his underwear, she inhales the smoke in, and exhales it out of her nose. 

"You got a message on your phone." She says to him, taking another drag on the stick.  Bucky pauses as he puts on his pants, his right leg midair and poised over the leg.  He puts his leg though, pulls up his jeans and buttons them.  He grabs his shirt from the edge of the bed where it fell, and he hurriedly puts it on, then grabs his phone from the dresser where he sat it when he came home with his current lay.  Bucky unlocks the phone and sees that the text is from you.

_**When are you coming home?** _

"Shit!" He mutters, then he picks up his shoes, sits on the bed and puts them on. 

"Trouble in paradise?" Quips the blonde, who's name he can't be bothered to remember.  She had noticed his wedding ring glinting off his metal hand earlier, but it didn't deter her from getting him back to her place.  Bucky glances at her with a murderous glare that has her recoiling. 

"That's none of your business." He says, with an edge to his voice as he types his reply.  The woman just shrugs her shoulders as he stands to leave. 

"If you want another fuck, you know to find me."  She throws after him, exhaling smoke with her words as he leaves her room without a backwards glance.  She laughs gently to herself when she hears the front door open, and then close.  The woman takes one last drag of her cigarette, before putting it out in the ashtray on the nightstand.  Then she turns the light off and rolls over, satisfied that she bedded the Winter Solider.

 

********

 

You lay in the bed, string at the ceiling, waiting for Bucky's reply.  Your phone dings, giving you notification of a new message.  You open your messages and read the reply.

_**On my way home. Had to take Steve home.** _

"Sure you did." You scoff as you sit the phone down, sitting up in the bed.  Swinging your legs over the side of the bed, you use one hand on the bed to brace yourself, and the other on your lower back for support.  You weren't huge, but the added weight to your stomach threw off your balance somewhat, and was taking some time to get use to.  Walking to the master bathroom, you lay a had on your swollen belly wile smiling sadly. 

"I don't know how much more I can take of this baby girl.  Your daddy isn't acting like the man I married."  You had taken to talking to the baby often, but lately it's been conversations about your marriage since you don't have anyone to confide in, because they would crucify Bucky, so you just keep it t yourself.  Taking care of your business in the bathroom, you wash her hands, then look at your reflection in the mirror.

You gaze at your reflection and sigh.  Deep inside you know he is cheating, but you don't know why.  Everything was great when you were dating and engaged, and marriage was even better.  But after two years of marriage, and a child on the way, you don't know why Bucky is doing this.  You've tried to talk to him, but these last few months he has been distant and unresponsive to you.  The first time he did not come home, he told you he was Steve and Sam, but you worried when he wasn't home after a few hours.  You had called Steve after Bucky had failed to answer his phone, hoping that nothing had happened to him.

 

~~Flashback~~

 

_"Hello?"  Steve answered, sounding like he had just woken up from a deep sleep._

_"Hey Steve, it's me.  I'm sorry to bother you, but is Bucky still with you?  He said you guys went to the bar with Sam, but I can't reach him."_

_"We left the bar a few hours ago and Bucky said he was heading home.  Is he not home yet?"_

_You could hear the worried tone in his voice.  Just then, you heard a key in the door._

_"Never mind, Steve," you say, relieved that your husband is home. "He just got her.  Sorry for bothering you, goodnight!"  You hang up the phone and head downstairs._

_You watch as Bucky opens, and closes the door, locking it securely behind him.  As he turns around, he sees you on the stairs and stops.  You see a flash of guilt in his eyes, but it is gone and replaced by a look of nonchalance._

_"Why are you still up?"  He questions as he stoops down to untie his black boots and take them off.  You ignore his question._

_"Where have you been?  I was worried about you!"_

_"I told you I was with Steve and Sam at the bar.  We didn't realize how late it got.  Sorry I didn't call you, doll." He replies, not missing a beat as he lines his boots up by the door, and starts up the stairs._

_"Well that's funny," you answer as he is passing you, "because I just got off the phone with Steve and he said you guys left hours ago." You finish scathingly.  "So where were you?"_

_Bucky pauses on the step above you, turns and faces you.  Looking down, you see his metal hand ball into a fist and then relax at his side._

_"You called Steve?" He asks you, and you can hear the edge in his voice._

_"I was worried that something had happened to you because you weren't home and you didn't answer you're phone!" You bite back at him.  "Where the hell were you Bucky?"_

_Bucky ignores you and starts back up the stairs.  "I didn't marry you to be my mother.  I don't need you to question every fucking thing that I do!"_

_You balk as he walks into the hall bathroom and slams the door shut, ending the conversation._

 

~~End Flashback~~

 

You turn off the light in the bathroom and make your way out of the bedroom and downstairs.  You walk past the photos on the wall along the staircase, stopping at you wedding photos.  That was the best day of your life, marrying the man you considered to be your best friend.  As much as that sounds like a cliché, it was true.  After everything you two went through to get to that day, it was worth it.  In every photo, you and Bucky wore larger than life smiles that were contagious to everyone who attended. 

You continue your way into the kitchen, but pause again at your favorite picture.  You had asked the photographer to make sure that he snapped a picture of Bucky when he first saw you enter the sanctuary.  The picture was everything you had hoped it would be, the look of pure love and awe on his face brought tears to your eyes when you saw it.  Now, as you gaze at the photo, you have tears in your eyes, but for a different reason.

For the past few months, when Bucky comes home in the early morning hours and is distant, your heart breaks a little each more.  Unable to fathom how he could do this to you, his wife and the mother of his unborn child, a tear rolls down your cheek.  Wiping it away, you head into the kitchen and flip on the light.  You open a cabinet, grab a glass and walk the short distance to the fridge for water.  As the cold water slides down and soothes your dry throat, you contemplate what to do.

You love Bucky with every ounce of your being, but you refuse to be treated like this after everything you have done to help him get better.  Supporting his missions and training schedules, with therapy visits and the occasional night terror, he repays you like this.  Sitting the now empty glass on the counter, you bury your face in your hands as the tears fall freely.  Pretty soon you are going to have to make a decision about your marriage because it's not going to work if only one person is invested.

 

*******

 

Bucky silently makes his way to the car, his path lit dimly by the lone street lamp on the block.  He slides into the drivers seat, slamming the door behind him.  He leans his head back against the seat and cards his hand through his hair, sighing.  He knows that you know he is cheating, and he feels shitty about it, especially since you are carrying his child.  Being married to you is great, but a small part of his mind thinks that something is missing, and the urge has been so great he has tried to find it.  But, he didn't find anything, only succeeding in hurting you from his selfish ways. 

"I'm done with this shit."  Bucky says to himself.  Putting the key into the ignition, he starts the car.  Bucky ignores the seatbelt icon and starts home, hoping that you are sleep so he can pretend one last time that he did nothing wrong.

 

*******

 

You are still in the kitchen when you hear Bucky's key in the door.  You quickly grab a paper towel and dry your face, but you know it won't help and the red, puffy eyes will give you away.  The front door opens and shuts quietly, and you hear Bucky start to make his way upstairs, but he pauses on the step when he realizes you are up.  Watching as he makes his way into the kitchen, you take in his expression, a mix of concern and guilt.

"Why are you up, baby?"  He asks. 

"I was just getting something to drink.  I'm going back to bed now."  You reply, eyes cast downwards.  You start to walk past him, but he grabs you gently around your waist, pulling you close.  The coolness of his metal arm through the thin fabric of your nightgown makes you gasp softly.  He takes in the appearance of your face and puts his other arm around you.

"I'm sorry, doll.  I'm so sorry."  He doesn't need to elaborate on what, because you both know.  You hear the sincerity in his voice, sounding as if he is holding back tears.  You hug him back, the fight having left you sometime ago, but as you inhale while pressed against his chest, you let go and step back.  He smells faintly of cigarettes and sex.  Bucky looks at you questioningly, watching your retreating form and waiting for the angry words he deserves.

"Take a shower,"  You say as you walk upstairs.  "Use the bathroom down here." 

Reaching the top of the stairs, you start to head to your bedroom, but stop and walk to the nursery instead.  You turn on the light and look around the partially finished room.  Bucky had been so happy when you told him that you were pregnant that a few days after, he had Steve and Sam help paint the room that you guys had picked for the nursery.  It was lavender because Bucky said he knew it was a girl, and he had been right. 

In the corner of the room was the white crib and dresser that you bought and the men had put together.  It had been a fun day, watching Captain America, The Winter Solider and Falcon trying to put them together without the directions, finally caving in after a few hours.  You were still adding things to the room as the months moved along, but you were far from done.

You walk into the room and sit in the rocker Bucky had brought home a few weeks ago.  Looking out the window, you admire the curtains that you had finished sewing a few weeks ago.  They were a vintage floral print, a fabric that Bucky had picked out and you loved it.  The moon shone brightly outside the window.  As you look around the room that your child will be in, in a few short months, you forgive him.  You love him with all your heart, but this is it.  Just one last chance. 

You continue thinking and rocking until you hear the shower cut off.  Rising from the chair, you head towards the door and give the room one last look before turning out the light and going to yours. 

Getting into bed, you hear Bucky's footsteps coming up the stairs.  You glance at him as he walks into the room and heads to the dresser.  His hair is wet and sticking to neck and face, a towel around his waist.  You watch the way his muscles move as he opens the drawer and retrieves a pair of boxers.  He drops the towel to the ground and puts them on, the light reflecting off his metal arm. 

He turns and looks at you questioningly.  You smile softly at him and nod slightly, then you turn away from him and turn off the light on your nightstand.  As you settle back into the covers, you feel his flesh hand curl around your belly, stroking it softly. 

"You fucked up, Barnes.  I'm giving you one last chance."  You say quietly in the dark.  "If you fuck up again, I swear we're done." Bucky scoots closer to you, putting his face near the side of your neck.

"I know baby," he whispers.  "Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think. This is my first work so go easy on me!! Also, if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I can fix them. I tried to catch everything, but some things can slip past.


End file.
